The Trials and Tribulations of an Injured Runner
There’s nothing quite like the identity crisis of being an injured runner; one day, you’re a graceful gazelle, gliding through those interval sessions, smashing those hills, whilst uploading your running stats on Strava feeling like running was invented just for you. In fact you’d convinced yourself that Nike would be calling any minute asking if you’d star in their next advert.
Then, crash, bang, wallop, you’re hobbling around like a baby giraffe learning to walk, with the added flair of an overdramatic soap opera star needing smelling salts as you lay on the couch.. Your “Chariots of Fire” internal soundtrack that was on on permeant loop every time you ran has been replaced with Coldplay’s “Fix You”.
1. The Diagnosis Dance
The first sign of injury is always denial. "It's probably just a twinge," you say, while grimacing like you’ve stepped on an upturned plug. And as curiosity did in fact kill the cat, you go shopping for pain as your Google search suggests you spend a few hundred pounds on medieval remedies, new shoes, new insoles, running gait analysis as you spiral into a life without running, contemplating low impact sports like competitive chess!
2. Rest? What Is This "Rest" You Speak Of?
Your coach, physio, consultant, GP has suggested, using kind words, kid gloves and a bucket load of tact that you need to "rest." You nod politely, but inside, you’re thinking, you are joking? You don’t mean me, you mean other people, not me because I’m a runner and runners don't rest. Runners stretch, foam roll, ice, compress, we continue to move, lift, squat, lunge…... but rest? That's for mere mortals.
Mmm, no improvement, “ok, ok, I’ll rest….” but in two days you’re already looking longingly at your trainers, alone in the cupboard, your longing akin to the desperation of watching your favourite dessert slowly melt. Rest feels like a punishment, a cruel sentence that is served in a parallel universe that counts in dog years!
3. The Obsession with Other Runners
When did EVERYONE start to run? Your prescribed rest is spent scrolling through Instagram where people post their perfect "runner's high" selfies. Oh, how you loathe them. Look at them, smug, sweaty, and all injury-free. Go on admit it, you’re spending a disproportionate amount of time thinking of the “heckles” you could write in the comments box, luckily you don’t, and you give them kudos!
4. Cross-Training? You’re kidding me….swimming?
Swimming? WTF…too cold. Cycling? Not enough scenery changes. Yoga? Am I even alive? Where’s my heart rate? Nothing compares to the thrill of pounding the pavement, and just like a disgruntled teenager who is convinced the world is out to get them, you reluctantly join a Pilates class, making sure you wear any race tshirt to let everyone in the class know that you ARE a runner. Alas, no amount of meditative breathing can soothe the ache of your sidelined soul.
5. The Comeback (and the Drama)
When you're finally cleared to run again, (are you though? Is that what you really heard?) it's like being released from captivity, your first run back is tentative, it’s slow, it’s run/walk (honest), but it doesn’t matter, you convince yourself that you’re back and that you’ll soon be winning marathons! But…… you overdo it, obviously, you rested for 4 WHOLE DAYS so you’re invincible!
The good news is, in the end, injured runners don’t quit, yes there is a lot of moaning, sulking and Google searching (and a bit of crying) but there’s no quitting. You will run again……if you rest!